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Hope is the white feather that falls in front of your eyes

Hope is the truth amongst a thousand lies

Hope is the sun peeping out from the clouds

Hope is the one who stands out from the crowds

Hope is the sunlight on a rainy day

Hope are the words of love when theres nothing more to say

Hope is the dream that enlightens the depression

Hope is the broken heart that still loves without question

Hope is standing up when you were told you would fall

Hope is the survivor who has been through it all

Hope is the broken wing that can now fly high

Hope is knowing that this isn’t the last goodbye




Who are you?

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You have over 50 trillion cells in your body, ever multiplying and dying and creating new cells, ever transforming.

Every cell has a consciousness

Your cells work day and night to keep you alive. Your cells react to your heart beat, brain wave messages and emotions such as fear, stress, anxiety, happiness, joy and love. You constantly send signals to your cells with every thought and every heart beat.

You have the magic of life within you

Life cannot be explained by science or religion, life is a phenomenal force of energy that exists within everything. Even stones are made up of tiny crystals that have grown from nature’s life force.

Physicists say we are made of 40% stardust

NASA tells us that that the abundance of elements in our body creates the building blocks of life and is also found in the stars of the Milky Way.

You are part of the universe and the universe is part of you.

When you look at an atom and its electrons and protons circulating around the nucleus in the centre, it looks like our milky way with the planets and stars circulating around the sun.

You really are so much more than you think!

Loving who you are is to love your physical body and respect the life-force that is within you. We have a universe inside of us that is made of 7 billion billion billion atoms. Scientists say we have more atoms in our bodies than there are stars in the observational universe (one billion trillion) our atoms are constantly moving and changing form, constantly healing us and helping us function with no help from our conscious mind. We are not only connected to our inner universe we are connected to this large expansive outer universe that creates life, ever changing and transforming. Life is truly miraculous in how it all works; every part of our body is a living miracle! But the thing that is truly magical is that when you heal and love your inner world it starts to reflect in your outer world too.

Loving your body always starts with your breath, breathing deeply and peacefully, deep breaths send signals to your body that everything is ok, everything is good. When your breathing is shallow, your heart is affected and this has a knock on effect to the whole of your body, shallow breathing can create panic, stress, worry and anxiety. Fear and anger in the heart will send signals to your body of threat and alarm. Re-connecting to your body helps you re-member who you truly are.

How do we forget who we truly are?

Sometimes we keep playing the same movie over and over again and our reactions are the same as when we were children, it’s like a soldier still fighting when the war has stopped. We react to situations from our past, thinking the outcome will be the same but we are not seeing it as the truth or living in the now. We may have been told that we were a certain character, but this would have just been a judgement from another person, so if we take it on board as a truth it becomes us, but in truth it isn’t us.

Core beliefs are not easy to identify and they only surface in difficult situations or in meditation when the conscious mind is no longer in control. When our conscious mind becomes quiet we can then discover what’s really going on within us. This is important because our subconscious mind governs our life, this is the place where we hold onto beliefs and perceptions that may have come from old wounds, or from other people’s beliefs that we have taken on board.

We can also lose ourselves trying to fit in, so we become a person that we think other people will like, or we may try to be like another person. But we are all individual and our individuality determines who we are .A rose does not look at a sunflower and say I wish I was a sunflower. A rose is a rose and each rose is individual and when we observe this flower we can see the beauty in each of them and further more each individual petal of a rose. The same applies to each of us; we are all unique and have unique talents that only we can put into the world. The secret to happiness and fulfilment is to just be who we are.

So our mind and nervous system works to protect us and it does so in many ways. We all have different defence systems, some people have to be right because they feel if they are wrong it will make them a bad person, so they have to make sure everything is right and then they feel they are good and safe. Some people escape, if conflict faces them they walk away and if too much stress comes into their life they will escape into watching TV or playing games, or drinking etc Some people have to play the victim and the poor me card, this is the only way they feel they will get love or attention. Some people push others away if they get too close. There are many different defence characteristics that can be defined both psychologically and energetically and these defence systems have a knock on effect to our physical and mental wellbeing.

So the best place to be on all levels of your being is a heart centred place with a balanced mind set, where thoughts are in the now and connected to nature and all that is. This is the perfect place, and some people experience that daily and others have never experienced it. Psychologically and energetically this heart centred place is within us every minute of every day, it’s who we are, it’s the place where we find our individual truth. Most of us waver from feeling good to feeling bad every day and most of us let outside influences deter how we feel and we unknowingly play the blame game and victim role. This is a level of consciousness that we can heal and then go on to master a higher level of consciousness. This higher level has been reached by many philosophers, business people, billionaires, holy figures, authors, teachers and the list goes on. This higher consciousness has been reached by millions of people and each one of them has inspired others through their individual teachings or writings. Some people just live in this consciousness and enjoy life and everything it has to offer! I am sure there are many of you reading this that have experienced this higher consciousness and can live it 50- 60% of the time. I probably would define myself as one of those people. If you too are one of those people then you will know that meditation and inner work has to become a daily practice and the rewards for this daily practice are miraculous. If you have experienced miracles and universal love then you are probably experiencing moments of complete joy, wonderment, tranquillity, inner peace and contentment. It’s a great place to be in and truly magical.

Dr Michael Beckwith teaches life visioning and talks about 4 levels of consciousness; Level 1 – victim, blame and gossip consciousness

Level 2 – Manifest consciousness

Level 3 – Channelling individual essence

Level 4 – I am and being consciousness.

He says that in each part of our lives we can be at different levels of consciousness. So for example spiritually you may be at level 4 but in relationships you may be at level one. Or you may experience oneness in relationships but with money you are still at level one. This really resonates with me and I can identify each of these levels to different parts of my own life.

What I have discovered recently is that bringing your thoughts back into the now and bringing your energy fully into your body and loving every part of you has a tremendous healing effect. I used to teach and write self development books, but I was missing something and that something was to love me and bring energy into me and connect to my inner wisdom.  It’s in the being and the doing of self love, inner work and living in the now that really transforms your life. The true and vital key is to know that you are part of the universe and the universe is part of you and the vibration of love creates a field of miracles and good living.

Try this exercise to momentarily feel that higher consciousness and to feel your true individual essence. It will take just 5 minutes. Notice how your ego mind will fight with you as you start to relax, it will tell you, you haven’t got time, it will tell you you’ve got too much to do, and it will tell you that it’s not worth it. There are many books written by some great philosophers who talk about re-training the mind and taking control of it. If we let the ego thoughts control us we will not be able to access the higher consciousness. It’s something that has to be worked on daily and the rewards are good. We have to learn how to quiet the ego mind. The ego mind likes to tell us that we are not good enough, or we are too good for this etc this is how we recognise the ego, it will always measure you against everyone else. Whereas the higher mind recognises you as an individual and no one is better or worse than you.

So try this exercise and observe your ego as you start to connect to your higher mind, your ego may even try to cut corners.  Listen and observe your thoughts but don’t let them control you. Just quiet the mind.

  1. Slow the breath and inhale all the way in and exhale all the way out. Do this 10 times, close your eyes. Feel that inner peace. Stay focused and be aware of what your mind says, try to quiet the thoughts and just relax into peace.
  2. Now concentrate on your heart and visualise light pouring into your heat as you breathe in. Do another 10 breaths. You may start to feel warm or a tingling, your hands may get hot. This is chi energy starting to flow through you.
  3. Now just say higher consciousnesses connect with me now and take 10 more deep breaths and observe your feelings and thoughts. Really feel the peace and softness in each breath. In this state it is good to ask questions about your life because it has no ego or emotional drama attached to it.


Now if you didn’t experience anything try the exercise again, starting from number 1. You will feel more at peace with yourself and the world after just the first three steps. If you felt tired, like you needed to sleep, it’s a sign that you need to sleep and rest more, we often stay awake because of addictions or got to dos but our bodies and brain need to rest and recuperate. If you really feel you connected to something then go on to the next steps.

  1. Take 10 more deep and peaceful breaths and really feel that peace and connection within you. Picture the highest vision for your life, think about things you would love to do and feel it in your body.
  2. Now be aware of any feelings attached to this vision. What do you feel and where do you feel it? If it’s a good feeling expand the feeling, if it’s bad, explore where this bad feeling is coming from.
  3. Now open your eyes bring your energy down into your feet, and just sit for a while, have a glass of water. Connect to that vision before you go to sleep every night.

Please let me know what you experience.

So I will finish where I started to complete the circle of transformation.

You have over 50 trillion cells in your body, forever multiplying and dying and creating new cells.

Every cell has a consciousness

You have the magic of life within you

Physicists say we are made of 40% stardust

You are part of the universe

You are so much more than you think!

Love You! Really Love You! There’s no one else like you!

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The Phoenix



The phoenix

All hope is gone and you feel empty and numb

The darkness enfolds you, what will you become?

All is lost and you can see no way out

The ashes lay lifeless and you question what life is about


The phoenix turns ashes into fire

Something inside awakens and begins to transpire

There is a light within us that wants to rise

Something so powerful, it will reach for the skies


The phoenix exists within us all

The power of the phoenix gives us strength to stand tall

When you find the light and fire within

You will find your truth and then your life will truly begin

Vanessa Carter 1st March 2016


Awakening to who you are

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Its time to listen to your body!

In my twenties I became very spiritual. I meditated and I healed others, it seemed natural and easy. I became a Reiki Master and I studied the human energy field. I thought I knew everything! I constantly got thank you letters from people telling me I had changed their lives, I felt wise and knowledgeable.  BUT I couldn’t understand why my day to day life wasn’t operating very well. I earned very little money, my relationships were awful and most of the time abusive. Things went from bad to worse in my personal life and I lost who I was.

Last year I went on an amazing journey of self discovery and healing when I was diagnosed with cancer. I was on a mission to heal myself on every level. So I would like to briefly share my healing journey with you and the reason why I’m sharing it is because I hope it will influence your perceptions and  your life in a positive way. How can we beat cancer? By preventing it! And hopefully my journey will help prevent this from happening to more people. If one person takes this message on board and transforms their life then I will be happy and it will be mission accomplished. I hope that person is you.

Firstly I have discovered that there is an energy that is unexplainable that is filled with love and supports you; most of us call this energy God or universal energy. Whatever you choose to name it, I know for sure is it exists. I came face to face with this energy whilst on my cancer journey. It happened about two weeks after the initial shock and screaming out why why why?  Why me? How could this be happening to ME!?!. I walked my dog and suddenly I could see all the colours around me, I could see the beauty within everything. The only thought that entered my head was “life is so beautiful and miraculous” So there I was not knowing if I was going to live or die but what I knew for sure was that I wanted to LIVE! This world and my life is awesome! And it was only a few months ago when I was complaining about my life and how rubbish it was! Oh if only I could go back in time and be cancer free and live that life again knowing what I know now. What a blessing it would be to be cancer free!

Many people have an awakening in a time of shock. Neal Donald Walsch was homeless, divorced and had lost his job when he shouted out “Why” to God and then started writing a book with the answer to that very question! Ekhart Toll was in deep depression when he had an enlightening moment, Byron Katie was lying on the floor after years of alcoholism and depression when she awakened, and the list goes on. It seems at a moment of trauma an awakening happens. Why?  It is the only time when we switch our mind off. We get to a place where worry and thoughts are no longer important and it usually happens in a near to death situation. During the darkest times is when an awakening happens, our thoughts are no longer drowning out our true selves and we can finally hear our souls calling and see the truth.

So miracles started to happen one by one as I opened up to life and its unfolding beauty. Books were appearing and falling off the shelves for me to read and there was life changing synchronicities. My world started to expand and I started travelling to new places and meeting new people. One of the people who turned up in my life was a qi gong master who taught me to breathe, really breathe and bring my energy back into me. This was an amazing pinnacle in my life! I realised how I didn’t love myself. I started to send loving energy to every organ of my body and bring my energy fully back “home” back into my body, not scattered around, not in stressful situations, or in emotional dramas. My energy was peacefully and fully resting within my body and it felt powerful and uplifting! I felt like my energy was huge! I realised how my body had been trying to communicate with me for years but I refused to listen. I had a few accidents in the run up to my diagnosis, I fell down the stairs and broke my nose and twisted my neck and landed on my right arm which I couldn’t use for a week, a couple of months before I had fell over at work and sprained my right arm; I couldn’t understand why I kept hurting my right arm. Now I know it was my body calling out for help, calling out for attention and love because I was neglecting it. If someone was tapping you on the shoulder would you take a pain killer to stop the pain? Would you have your arm removed? No! You would ask why the person is tapping you on the shoulder. The same happens when you have a pain, your body is trying to talk to you. For example if you are in a stressful job and you are constantly on the go and in hyper mode, your body will say “stop you need to rest” so you may get palpitations, pains in the chest, anxiety or pains in the back of the neck and shoulders. This is your body saying please stop and give me some love.

So when you start to send different parts of your body love, you realise that you are the creator of your inner universe and how you feel inwardly will also reflect in your outside world. If you feel worthless or insecure you will attract people and situations to confirm this. Also when you start to send love to different parts of your body it’s good to be consciously aware of how you feel about these parts. Sometimes women send hate, disgust or negative energy to certain parts of their body, like breasts, thighs, bottom, legs, face etc. This is felt by your body and this is how disease starts.

So Remember and tell yourself every day YOU ARE A MIRACLE.  YOU ARE ALIVE.  LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL. You have the beauty of life all around you. YOU ARE 100% BEAUTIFUL you are a blessing from the universe and it made you perfectly. Also as you start to love yourself more, the universe loves you more and other people love you more too. You will find that old energy and friends disappear from your life and new positive friends start being attracted to you.

When you start to bring your energy back to your body and loving your body and realise you are unique and a divine expression of the universe and that you have a unique purpose in this life, that’s when higher emotions transform the lower emotions.

At last I get it! You really don’t have to try too hard in life because everything is a reflection of how you feel about yourself and you are the creator of your life. It goes like this …. A mindset attached to an emotion and then onto action becomes creation. So a negative thought attached to an emotion becomes a reaction, the reaction will have a ripple effect and create a field of negativity.  A positive thought with a positive emotion, followed through with action creates something wonderful. It’s your choice what you think and feel and create. In quantum physics we learn two things can be in the same place and exist at the same time. There are many parts of you and it’s your choice which parts you awaken.

Always remember what a miracle you are. You are made up of trillions upon trillions of atoms and they all respond to their creator and work for their creator which is you. It’s all within you! And big changes happen when you start loving and listening to your body.




Immune Boosting Soup

Ive been asked to post the recipes that I am using. So here is the first one. I base my recipes on nutrition and health quality and from a nutritionist point of view.

Immune Boosting Soup

One Avocado – Packed full of vitamins including vitamin K and C. It is high in B vitamins and Vitamin E. One avocado has the potassium content of 3 bananas. They are also full of fatty acids that are good for the heart.

Half a broccoli – Rich in vitamin C and has had remarkable anti cancer effects due to the chemical Indole 3 carbinol. It also contains B vitamins and loads of minerals including manganese, phosphorus, potassium, magnesium, omega 3 fatty acids, protein, zinc, calcium, iron, niacin and selenium.

Four carrots – Very high in vitamin A and has anticancer effects.

Two onions –  Onions have so many healing qualities I can not mention them all here, but I will write a blog especially for this powerful healing vegetable. It has been shown to cleanse the body and lower blood pressure.

One whole garlic bulb – Again Garlic has so many healing qualities, it is antibacterial, antifungal, antithelminitic. It boosts the immune system, lowers cholesterol,lowers high blood pressure and helps eliminate toxins from the body.

Ginger (about the size of quarter or half of your thumb, depending on taste preference) – Ginger has been used for thousands of years in China to treat numerous health conditions. Ginger has many health benefits and is high in antioxidants. Ginger contains ginerol which contains many medicinal properties.

Optional – If you like spice add some Red chilli pepper – Red chilli peppers are the third richest source of vitamin C second to the Acelora berry and Amla. They contain many phytonutrients with healing benefits.

One sweet potato –  Good source of vitamin A and C

Other ingredients: water, vegetable stock cube, half a teaspoon of turmeric


Chop the above ingredients and place in a blender or soup maker and blend to your preferred consistency. If you are using a blender boil the hard veg for 20 mins, blend and then re-heat. Add water and one teaspoon of vegetable stock. Add half a teaspoon of turmeric. Add black pepper before serving.

Love You



I have been an alternative therapist for 25 years, teacher for 15 and a writer of self-development books for maybe 7 years. I know how important health and wellbeing is and for a while I was healthy, happy and successful. Until I met a man! It was evident that whenever I met a man my whole world would go upside down and I would lose myself.

For some reason, I picked the abusers and the addicts and my integrity and self-worth would always shrink into a tiny being that was unrecognisable. I always forgot who I was and I was never true to myself. After I left my recent abusive relationship 3 years ago, I had a lot of inner work to do! I had spent 7 years with a man who had put me down and his only goal in life was to drink as much as he could daily. I went from being a successful teacher to working part time in a pub. How could I have undervalued myself so much? I hated myself! I hated that my daughter was witness to this abuse and lived through it and because of this I felt immense guilt and deeply depressed. The only person to blame was me! I should not have allowed this man into our lives and I should of valued me and my daughters life more! For the years that followed I would cry every night full of guilt and self hatred. This was not healthy! Not only had I let a person put me down I was now hating myself and my body.

It took cancer to finally heal the wounds of self -hatred. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2015 and I did everything I could to research natural cancer cures for my mum. It turned out her tumour was only 1cm and surgery and radiation saw the end of it. Half way through my mum’s radiation treatment on the 16th December 2015 I too got diagnosed with breast cancer which wasn’t the same as my mums. My tumour was 5cm and I had tumours in the armpit, chemotherapy was my only option. I stepped away from traditional medicine for 6 months. During this time, I did a lot of self -healing, I took a year out to heal me and love me! and I had to really face my fears and negativity and really forgive myself and heal the guilt I held within my heart. For the first 6 months of 2016 self hatred and fear overwhelmed me. I thought I was being punished for my bad decisions in life and every night I thought I was going to die. I stayed strong for my daughter who spent most of her time with friends, she totally distanced herself from me when I got diagnosed. We all deal with shocks and fear differently and her way to cope was to distance herself.

So, over time I sank into a routine of daily meditation and mindfulness, positive affirmations and a healthy lifestyle. I learnt that meditation and affirmations kept me positive and lifted me away from the fear. Despite of this it wasn’t until I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer that I really started to love me!

On August 31st 2016 I was told my cancer had spread to the lymph and bone and was now terminal. I was now going to have injections every 3 weeks and a bone infusion and take a chemotherapy tablet called Tamoxifen. From that day, I made sure I had two or three healings a week. I would Reiki my food, my bed and house whenever possible. I would go for long walks on the beach and breathe loving energy into my body. I used the emotional freedom technique to free myself of old patterning and beliefs.

The true meaning of loving you, is honouring your body. This is the most important thing in the world. Without your body, you wouldn’t be here in the physical. We can totally transform our lives for the better by listening to our inner universe, Ive totally transformed my life by doing this. Our bodies are a miracle. When the ego mind takes over us it often tells you to do 20 or 30 things in the day and you will hear an inner voice of “got to do”. In fact, your mind sets you up for a fall every time because it can overload you with things to do and then you feel frustrated when you haven’t achieved the impossible task. Your body likes to rest, it likes to be pampered, it likes healthy food, it likes fresh air and it likes to be loved. Surprisingly it’s the opposite of what your mind is saying especially when addictions are involved. I often ended up in a pub instead of writing when my ego mind was at its strongest.

So, daily I slow my breath right down, by doing this I nourish my organs. I love my body more than I ever have done, I am in awe of its miraculous beauty. It works so efficiently without any input from me or my mind and it works for my best interest and keeps me alive! I now talk to my body and say “wise body I love you” and it feels good, it’s like my body responds with an inner hug, I can feel a warmth inside when my body responds to my love.

 I watched a wonderful video where the breath creates a movement within the body, I watched as the rib cage moved and rocked the liver gently back and forth like a gentle massage. Breath work is like an inner massage of all your organs, muscles and bones. Then as you breathe you send love to each organ. This really is the first step in healing yourself and connecting back to your body. I’m going to start teaching this to cancer patients because the method I have learned is so powerful and effective.  I want to help others through this fearful journey and really help them to experience loving themselves against all odds. How many times do we criticise our bodies or ignore and abuse it? Love you!

Thich nhat hanh (a Buddhist monk) talks about mindfulness within the body, he says we are like a tree, the trunk is our body and the branches are our mind. When there is a storm (depression) we need to bring our energies to our trunk of the tree and not the branches. He talks about bringing our energies to our tan tien which is a place of great energy in the centre of our being. It’s a place of warmth and really connecting back to you.

So now my body comes first! If my body is not up to it, I’m not doing it! Now I love every part of my body. I love me for all my flaws and I can see the beauty in each one of them! and by doing so I can also see the immense beauty in others, with acceptance and love and no judgement.

Love You!

Love yourself, you have the miraculous gift of life within you! You are a miracle!

Say to every part of your body “I love you” and see what happens 😉

Love You!






I started the oxygen tank on Thursday! As I sat in the hyperbaric chamber with an oxygen mask on, I tried to steady myself into the alien surroundings. Who would have thought that this time last year I would be sitting in a hyperbaric chamber breathing in oxygen in Chedgrave with stage 4 cancer! This time last year I was trying to get my social enterprise off the ground and set up a hypnotherapy practice in London whilst working part time in a pub.  How life changes hey!? You live day by day then a whirlwind comes along, turns your world upside down and changes your life forever. So here I am sitting with 5 other people, we are all there to heal. Some of them are sitting in wheelchairs, the ages vary, we are all suffering but determined! We breathe in the oxygen and hope for healing. Hyperbaric chambers increase your oxygen levels so healing and recovery from injury becomes quicker, broken bones heal quicker and increased oxygen levels boost the immune system. This treatment has been shown to be effective for MS and cancer sufferers. I am trying everything I can to heal.

Cancer is a scary word! It’s even scarier living with it daily, but in amongst the chaos and fear and standing in the eye of the storm things are starting to look and feel different. Finally health, harmony and balance seem obtainable. Through this year of intense healing, changing my diet and lifestyle and incorporating lots of meditation, EFT, Reiki, Energy healing and breath work I am actually finding me! Yes it’s a cliché! People mimic people “finding themselves” but it’s actually the most profound, amazing experience. The most powerful thing for me was totally releasing the shackles of ego wants and social acceptance. I let go of the core wound of feeling lost and alone and instead I embraced and experienced beautiful qualities in life such as love and nature. All my focus goes on these qualities as well as health and wellness. I’m liking this new life and this new me, that isn’t new at all it’s just a me that is letting go of old attachments, old emotions and old wounds that just don’t serve me anymore. Now the centre of my attention is to love and honour every part of me.  I have the miracle of life inside of me and life is powerful and can survive the greatest of storms.

Today I am a different person from that woman who was lost and trying to find a place and a purpose. Today I’m starting to relax into my own skin and I’m healing emotional wounds that have been within my body and mind for many decades. Daily dedication to my health and wellbeing is changing me. I love and nurture my body in any way I can, and an inner peace is growing stronger inside of me. The negative voices of self hatred are collapsing and they are being replaced with a soft gentle voice of “its ok” I want to watch films all day and  its ok, I want to walk along the beach and meditate all day and its ok, I want to work 9-5 on writing my book and its ok. Self judgements are less powerful and love is overtaking my negativity. These great lessons in transformation have come from friends, since being diagnosed with cancer I have experienced huge love and support. I never thought it was possible to receive so much love from so many people. People need to know that feeling that love and support has given me hope and changed my life forever! Peoples love is the very thing that is transforming me and healing me. Now I’ve experienced love in this way life looks and feels totally different, life has become magical and wonderful and I can see miracles happening. Thank you to all those who have said prayers, sent healing, helped with treatments and given me a hug or words of support when I needed them. I am truly thankful for your unconditional kindness.

It’s a new concept to me, feeling loved and also loving myself and my body for the first time! I am putting my health and body first daily. I breathe a healing breath and send love to all my organs and cells. I am healing my mind with positive affirmations which are working! It takes perseverance and persistence but now instead of going to sleep full of fear with the feeling of a big black cloud over me. I am now meditating last thing at night and first thing in the morning.  I now feel happy and positive most of the time and I’m actually feeling healthier than I have for a long time and I feel more centred, calm and positive. All is not perfect, but I’ve found a way to cope, heal and transform.

A week after I started writing this I got some good news from my oncologist. My tumour has halved in size and all my tumours in my armpit have now gone. This is down to medical treatment, 2 healings a week, lots of loving energy and most of all a change in lifestyle and attitude.  I am going to carry on loving and nurturing my body and putting my physical body first with plenty of sleep, rest, exercise and fresh air. I will be sending love to every part of my body, accepting the flaws and seeing them as beautiful. You know we are all beautiful and miraculous and every part of us has a consciousness and a purpose, the physiology of human body is full of miracles and so is every form of life.

When something like cancer hits your life full force it extenuates the importance of time, people and experiences. Life is short, I intend to fill mine with beautiful walks, travel, loving my friends and family and experiencing joy and doing things that make me happy! When you are faced with a situation where you don’t know if you are going to live or die you suddenly awaken to the true beauty of life and marvel in its phenomenal splendour and magic. Walking in nature has become top of my priority list because it cleanses the mind and awakens the soul.

Breathe, take in your surroundings and live in the now. Time is precious so make every moment count. But most of all appreciate what you have and look around to see the beauty within life. Your life can change in the blink of an eye.


Releasing Emotions & Uplifting the Mind


Wednesday morning I was getting ready to meet my friend Sarah to talk about setting up a charity called Cancer Support. The postman was early today and I heard the letters fall to the floor. I checked the mail and I saw that one of them was from the hospital it contained my tumour marker results. As I opened the letter I went into shock and panic, my tumour markers had risen dramatically to a high level, I started to have a panic attack and hyperventilate. This could mean that my cancer had now spread to stage 4. I cancelled my friend and just sat and cried as I repeated “oh my God!”

I managed to calm down and decided to wait until the next day when I had an appointment with my oncologist and my cat scan results would show exactly what was going on. My friend Hazel who has supported me through this whole journey came with me. I sat in the chair waiting for the results, I was hoping for the best, but unfortunately he confirmed what the tumour markers had shown, I now had stage 4 cancer that had spread to the bone and lymph. A memory of a conversation I had with a friend echoed in my mind, she told me her mum had breast cancer and then said “once it had spread to the lymph that was it” My mind was now overloaded with panic and dark thoughts!

I spent two weeks in deep depression and I know all the self help gurus say to keep positive but the fear, the pain and the depression is immense and it needs to be released. Shouting and crying is what I did for 2 weeks. Finally I slowly  lifted myself out of it and started to look forward with more positivity. I was now going to receive regular hospital treatments every 3 weeks. I also decided to re-train and take charge of my mind with regular meditation, positive affirmations and mantras. I had seen a documentary on a man who was in an aeroplane accident and he had over-heard the doctors telling his family that  he would be paralysed from the neck down for the rest of his life, he couldn’t even swallow. This man thought “I still have my mind, and if I have my mind I can beat this.” So every minute of every day he concentrated on re-building himself. One year later he walked out of the hospital and was totally cured. His name is Morris E Goodman.

With the knowledge that people can heal through the power of thought alone has influenced me to try whatever I can. Firstly using the power of the mind and then communicating with my body by connecting to my cells consciousness. I am eating organic fresh food, receiving medical treatment and also raising money to receive immunotherapy. Oh yes! and balancing my chakras and hara line and working on an energetic level too!  I will be fighting this cancer on every level possible. Im living it and breathing it every day!

I have found a mind programming protocol that fits into my life; which consists of an I am mantra for 30 minutes in the morning and at night,  followed by a meditation. This I can do regularly.

I set myself a task of walking along the beach for an hour every day but it seems to only happen once a week at the moment so Im really trying to fit this into my life no matter what, fresh oxygen going into the body and the power of the breath is also very healing. I also created a vision board, I have done this for years and found that it works 50% of the time, so Im focusing on good health and also using a Buddhist mantra that welcomes blessings into my life.

For 3 days I forgot to do the “ I am” positive affirmations and I felt quite depressed. I have experienced more uplifting emotions and thoughts when I use positive affirmations and meditation on a daily basis.

Core beliefs: As a therapist I always loved finding and healing peoples core beliefs and when I started as a hypnotherapist and past life practitioner I watched many people change their lives through just one session. So Ive worked on core beliefs on myself but never really healed them 100% because Ive been too busy etc. Recently I used the emotional freedom technique and Ive healed 3 core beliefs that may have led to me having cancer! The first was “life is a battle” I believed that life was a struggle and I found I was always fighting with people in some way or another and couldn’t understand why, I was spiritual, I focused on love, so why did people battle with me? Because my core belief was “life is a battle”. This is now healed, it took 2 or 3 sessions of EFT and now I feel totally different about life! I love life and I love the beauty and magic of nature, I almost feel in awe of it! And now I cant even comprehend why or how I had that belief. I always said as a therapist and teacher once you have found your core belief you have healed 50% of it! You have to be true to yourself and let go of the ego to find it.

My second core belief was “I hate myself” and “everybody hates me” I also had this belief that God was judging me and didn’t like me much!?! I am not sure where these beliefs have stemmed from or when they started, Im guessing in childhood. Unfortunately this core belief has effected my life in huge ways! A lot of time was spent in abusive relationships and now I understood why! If I hated myself then my partners would reflect that self hate back to me! A German doctor said many cancers come from extreme emotion or shock, breast cancer can sometimes relate to abusive relationships in a persons life, or a shock within a relationship. This is just a theory but I wonder if people researched peoples emotional lives at the time of cancer diagnosis what would come up?

One positive thing that has come out of this cancer journey is that its helped me eliminated all these beliefs and value myself more in a compassionate way, I no longer have to prove myself or try and change myself to fit in. I can be true to myself and others. Ive used EFT and mirror work to help this healing process.

I can truly say from my heart that I have encountered enormous loving compassion this year. People are helping me and its …. well there are no words to describe peoples generosity and warmth of spirit its heart warming, its humbling, its miraculous!!!! Some people have so much love to give it makes me in awe of them!

So through my deepest fear and my darkest moments I have seen nothing but love and beauty. My perceptions have changed about life, the world, people and most of all of myself! And now Ive learnt to truly love me and give myself time and healing and not feel guilty about it!

So Im writing this message to you! Release emotions, let go of dark thoughts and heal your life and most of all love you  😉 Because you are loved more than you know 😉 AND LIFE IS A GIFT so make the most of it!

The Mind Project

I was diagnosed with cancer on the 16th December 2015 with a 50mm tumour in the breast and a tumour under the arm pit. I decided to go to the alternative route for healing and avoid chemotherapy. I started a vegan diet, taking turmeric every day, apricot seed kernals and keeping my body alkaline. I had watched the truth about cancer and lots of you tube videos and was under the impression cancer was “easy” to cure! Some videos were making suggestions it could be healed in 2 weeks if your diet was alkaline and sugar free! After 6 weeks nothing had changed so these claims are completely untrue, I suppose what works for some doesn’t work for others, but I can confirm on research that no one has cured cancer in 2 weeks! some people have difficulty curing a cold in that length of time! That video and claim that has done the rounds on Facebook really insults people with cancer who have been fighting for years and are trying everything and anything to cure themselves. Chemotherapy also works for some people too. In conclusion, cancer is an individual journey and some people find a “miracle cure” and some don’t. We are all individuals and heal in our own time.

After 4 months my tumour markers went down a little, so I carried on with the vegan diet but let go of a lot of the strict dieting because it was getting me down! I found that with my cancer being oestrogen positive and her2 positive that information was contradicting and I became scared to eat anything!!! My weight had dramatically dropped and I was starting to look unhealthy! I brought wheat back into my diet. Im not sure if this was a good thing as wheat has oestrogen and after a further four months I received the worst news! My tumour markers had shot up dramatically and the cancer was now stage 4 and in my lymph and bones! I decided to take the conventional route and have medical treatment.

So now after two weeks of panic attacks and depression, Im setting a new task. I had dipped in and out of positive affirmations whilst choosing the alternative route so now Im taking it on 100%. Ive set out a protocol for re-training my mind to health and wellbeing whilst letting go and forgiving my past, I am setting my mind on a healthy and happy future. This will work alongside my medical treatment and my organic vegetarian diet with supplements which includes raw garlic, lots of ginger and lemons, iodine, 3,000mg vit C and 3,000 of vit D and turmeric daily. Im staying away from wheat and sugar but I will eat limited organic dairy products, from goats rather than cows. Im going to try and raise money to have mistletoe therapy and vitamin c infusions to power up my immune system, a strong immune system is the key to beating cancer. I also take Astragulus which is a herb that boosts white blood cells.

Today I am starting my mind protocol, scientists say if you continually train your mind daily to do something after 21 days it becomes reality and part of your life, or a habit can be formed.

Mind Works protocol

Every morning I will listen to a healing meditation followed by the “I am” mantra which for me will be “I am perfectly healthy” “I am ultimate health” “I am in remission” “I am healing” etc I will repeat this out loud for 30 minutes every morning. After a fruit smoothie with wheatgrass and spirulina I will do mirror work for 30 minutes again repeating “I am perfectly healthy” “Life loves me” etc. Then more affirmations as I exercise to activate my meridian lines and align my hara line. I will then go for a walking meditation for an hour. This will take up 3 hours of my morning but Im on a mission!!!!

In the day I will use the mantra nam myoho renge ko which is a Buddhist mantra to bring in divine blessings. I will also use TFT techniques.

My nightly mind routine will be; mirror work, kundalini meditation, I am mantra, healing meditation

I will post my daily experiences! Lets see if this mind reprogramming really works! I remember giving a TEDX talk on the power of the mind so now its time to turn theory into reality. I am giving it my all. The Mind project starts here.