I Will Rise

I will rise so high you will not recognise me

I will rise up and shine so gloriously

Like a shooting star in the night

My dreams and purpose start to take flight

 

You thought I was crushed failed and down

But now all you can see is my shining crown

Because I am the queen of my destiny

Now I’m living the best in me

 

I will rise up to my full potential

Respecting me is my best credential

I have the power within me to rise

And now its time to reach for the skies

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This is me

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I know Im not perfect and imperfections can be seen

But I want to live my purpose and I want to live my dream

My heart has scars and its been broken in two

You see my wound is where the light will always shine through

 

My very essence wants to bloom and shine

I want to be me, just give me time

My vulnerability hides behind a mask

Showing a smile can sometimes be a hard task

 

I want you to know me and all of my dimensions

I want you to see me but be aware of your intentions

Because when someone shows you who they truly are

Every judgement can create a scar

 

I lie awake at night with thoughts running through my head

Should I be courageous and be me or “fit in” instead

I know I have to be strong and show my vulnerability

So I can finally shout from the rooftops “This is me”

An uplifting formula

 

formula 1Rhodiola  + raw chocolate + green tea + fresh air & natural light = Enhanced good feelings

Rhodiola is a remarkable herb that can fight depression, enhance immunity and strengthen the nervous system. It has been a treatment in traditional medicine for many centuries for anxiety and stress and found to be good for brain function, focus , clarity and an energy booster.  I find it instantly uplifts me when I start to feel down. You know those times when everything seems to be going wrong and your thoughts start thinking negatively, or sometimes you just feel low like a dark cloud is above your head. Well this is the time to take this formula, it lightens the darkness and lifts the lows. I sit down with a cup of green tea and take a couple of Rholdiola and eat some raw chocolate. I take a few deep breathes and relax for a moment and sometimes I go for a walk, thats all I need and the dark clouds over my head disperse as quickly as they came. Sometimes a dark cloud or a bad day can bring us down or sometimes medical problems or medications can have a negative effect. If we keep control of the dark times and the lows as soon as we feel it, it can help uplift us and focus on the good things in life. Its ok to feel emotion and have down days, it all part of our human experience, don’t feel bad that you’re not as up beat as normal, you are not a robot, but always take time out for yourself and most of all find your joy. If taking time out means a cup of tea and eating some raw chocolate then savour the moment, feeling content or love everyday is good for your health so have a self love moment every day.

Rhodiola is an amazing uplifting herb, it has been used in Scandanavia and Russia for centuries to combat  the stressful life style and to help cope with the harsh weather conditions and it also gives a strong resistance to high altitude sickness.  In Chinese medicine rhodiola is used to give strength and stamina and reduce stress.

So why is Rhodiola such a successful herb? Well in recent studies it has shown that it enhances dopamine and serotonin therefore activating the feel good chemicals in your brain.

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Dopamine is a receptor found in the brain and central nervous system, it stimulates movement, control and motivation. The feelings that you experience when dopamine is high is that of satisfaction, accomplishment and feelings of clarity and happiness.

Seratonin – Serotonin is a neuro transmitter found in the gut, nervous system and brain. It plays a significant role in mood and behaviour, sleep patterns and appetite.  A lack of serotonin can lead to depression and aggression. Lots of serotonin in your blood makes you feel good, happy and content, it gives a feeling of security with no worries enhancing the feelings of  happiness and fulfilment.

Here are some extracts from the public medical journal  about serotonin;

For the last 4 decades, the question of how to manipulate the serotonergic system with drugs has been an important area of research in biological psychiatry, and this research has led to advances in the treatment of depression. Research on the association between various polymorphisms and depression supports the idea that serotonin plays a role, not only in the treatment of depression but also in susceptibility to depression and suicide”

Several studies have shown that higher serotonin levels in a persons blood enhances a good mood, whereas a lower serotonin levels instigated low, negative moods. The importance of feeling good has an enormous effect on our health and well being.

Dr Simon Young a professor of psychology writes this;

“Another reason for pursuing nonpharmacologic methods of increasing serotonin arises from the increasing recognition that happiness and well-being are important, both as factors protecting against mental and physical disorders and in their own right.12–14Conversely, negative moods are associated with negative outcomes. For example, the negative mood hostility is a risk factor for many disorders. For the sake of brevity, hostility is discussed here mainly in relation to one of the biggest sources of mortality, coronary heart disease (CHD). A meta-analysis of 45 studies demonstrated that hostility is a risk factor for CHD and for all-cause mortality.15 More recent research confirms this. Hostility is associated not only with the development of CHD but also with poorer survival in coronary artery disease (CAD) patients.16 Hostility may lead to decreased social support and social isolation,17 and low perceived social support is associated with greater mortality in those with CAD.18  The importance of feeling good has an enormous effect on our health and well being.”

Natural light and fresh air also stimulates serotonin and so does raw chocolate.

Research conducted by Professor Mary Engler at the University of California on chocolate;   “dark chocolate has several health benefits. This type of chocolate contains flavonols, which are naturally occurring chemicals that increase nitric oxide levels in the blood. This promotes better blood flow and relaxation of the arteries. In addition, the relaxed feeling that occurs after eating a piece of dark chocolate was found to occur because dark chocolate can raise serotonin levels in the brain. Dark chocolate also contains antioxidants, which neutralize free radicals and slow the destruction of cells.”

Chocolate contains a lot of feel good chemicals not only does it contain serotonin it also contains anadamide which is nick named the bliss molecule and dopamine. Raw chocolate holds a lot of benefits to people who suffer from stress or anxiety and it works wonders when eaten with green tea.

Green Tea:  Green tea is not only filled with an abundance of anti-oxidants it also is full of amino acids. One such amino acid is L-theanine. L-theanine supplements are nick named “chill pills” because it enhances relaxation and calm, so its perfect for anxiety. As it calms it is also good for high blood pressure and can help prevent heart disease. Its also very good for the brain and brings clarity and a clear head, so excellent for “brain fog”.

All these elements when brought together on a daily basis can promote health and wellbeing and a happier life. We are the masters of our bodies, our cells are forever reacting to our thoughts and emotions, so when we consciously send good, happy, loving signals to our body we can heal our lives.

There are more formulas for healing moods such as fear, worry , anxiety and stress. All of them will be available in my new book which is out soon ❤

I will also be running workshops.

 

Fall in love with yourself

201211-orig-deepak-chopra9-949x534When I started on my spiritual path 25 years ago, I studied for many years in several holistic therapies and taught meditation and I felt I knew everything. Despite of this knowledge and understanding I realise now I hadn’t fully awakened to the things I was teaching, my spiritual life and my everyday life were separate and I couldn’t figure out how to connect the two of them. My relationships never worked and I attracted abusive alcoholics and I couldn’t understand why. I spent 7 years away from men and concentrated on teaching and my spiritual life but as soon as a man came back into my life they would pull me away from my truth. In the end I gave up and went back to trying to fit in and I started drinking and smoking more and more, my relationship with an alcoholic had broken me and the constant emotional turmoil was putting a strain on me.

Then the dreaded diagnosis came 2 years ago. I cannot even begin to explain the emotions, the fear and the immense anxiety and depression a cancer diagnosis puts on a person. On the day I was diagnosed I gave up smoking, drinking, and sugar and became a vegan. I immediately went back into my true self with good nutrition and daily meditation. The journey I have been on has been truly enlightening. Finally I awakened to LOVE true immeasurable love, the true love of my life! That love came from me to myself and I discovered that love is not only personal it’s transpersonal. Love allows you to be who you are with no judgement. The judgement is what had stopped me from truly awakening, my own judgement of myself, my own inner voice of criticism and also the judgement of God, how I perceived God/the universe had an enormous effect on my consciousness.

I actually found my core wound and went deep within it and found that I hated myself. When I worked with a Qigong master I learnt the healing breath and breathed slowly into my tan tien, he called this central energy force “home” bringing my energy back into me, back home. I was fully aware of how I constantly escaped from myself, escaped from feelings by either comfort food, television, social media. All of this was an escape route away from me, instead of having all my energy in my head on worries and fear I started to put my energy back into my body. Then I sent love to all my organs. Deep breaths moved my rib cage back and forth and as I breathed slowly and deeply it felt like my inner organs were being massaged by this gentle rocking of the rib cage. I sent love to every part of my body and I realised I had been sending the energy of hate to my sexual organs because of the abuse I had learned to hate myself and think parts of my body were ugly.

Every cell in our body has a consciousness and listens to our thoughts, we are the God of our own bodies and when we have negative feelings towards ourselves, our bodies react and disease can start to take place. When we are over run with stress and negative emotions our bodies respond and go into full alert. Peace and love brings balance to our bodies, researchers are now finding different chemicals that are activated when we feel love or connected to ourselves, others and the world, these chemicals have a healing effect on our body. Our emotions and state of mind are vital for our health and wellbeing.

Take a moment every day to slow your breath and send love to all of your organs and every part of your body, this will really transform your life and will awaken you to love. There is also a transpersonal love that most of us call God/ the universe or life itself, I’ve felt this transpersonal love and when you truly open up to this you rest in Grace. I never knew what Grace meant until I felt the transpersonal love that is all around us and within us. Everyone is connected to this love and can experience it. All you have to do is slow your breath and feel love all around you, people will feel this in different ways. A lot of people feel it as a loved one who has passed, this is because everyone and everything is part of an eternal loving presence, and so your loved ones are part of you and will be with you for eternity. All spirit/God/the universe wants is for you to open up to this love and you can do this at any time, just quiet your mind and allow the energy to touch you.

Fall in love with yourself; feel loving energy around you and you will be able to lean back into the flow of Grace which will lead you to purpose and connection to yourself, others and the world.

Fall in love with your uniqueness that makes you you.

Hope for cancer

I take a deep breath before I get out of bed and start my day every morning.  I change my dressing the tumour is getting worse; I watch the blood drop from my breast, clean it and put my dressing on. Then I juice! I’m trying everything I can to beat this. Every day I try and heal, I eat healthy and keep positive; I’ve discovered a way to eliminate the fear and to keep looking forward to a positive future.

Whilst every effort of my being is working on keeping positive, every day I’m reminded of the harsh reality of cancer. I have made friends all over the world over these last two years and some of them I became very close to, a lot of them have passed away. One minute I am chatting with them and everything is fine and then a few weeks later I see a post on Facebook from a family member and my heart sinks and aches as I say goodbye to another friend.

No one can prepare you for this journey especially when you are told you are stage 4 and you can’t be cured. But one great lesson I have learnt through this is that miracles really do happen. I’ve lost friends and I’ve watched young women go through traumatic times but I’ve also seen people celebrate. I have seen people who were told they had 3 or 4 years to live totally recover! I have seen people who have cured themselves without medication. I have seen people change and transform their lives and come out of the other end perfectly healthy and living a brand new life. These people give me hope. Hope is the most powerful emotion on earth next to love.

Hope keeps us going, it keeps us moving forward and it stops us from giving up. So as I sit convalescing on today’s visit to the hospital and the news of radiotherapy starting in the New Year. I take a deep breath and let hope shine out from my heart and say out loud “I can do this”

The Grace of God (part one)

The Grace of God (a healers perception)

Vitality

 

The Grace of God is recognising that God is within us all and we are truly loved. I would say that this has been one of the greatest lessons in my life and it takes a long time to truly feel Gods love within you and around you.

Or I could say; The universe is within us and all around us and it holds the energy of love, not only within us but as a higher consciousness, that higher consciousness is part of us and part of everything.

Barbara Brennan author of hands of light and former scientist for NASA has spent 40 or more years researching the human energy-field and life force energy and teaching advanced healing methods. Along her healing journey she committed herself to truth and to be her true self and not fit in to other people’s expectations. She writes in chapter 27 of “Hands of Light” that the more she was aware of being true to herself the more she was aware of her ego will.  She writes this;

I found many levels of myself “wanting” all of us have this. This ego will and wanting comes from the defended self and the will of the inner child or the young teenager. These wills are rather demanding. The ego will needs to grow up. Deep inside of us there exists a spark of Divine will, God’s will. I have found that a spark of divine will exists within every human being. It is essential that you allow yourself time to search for it inside yourself until you find it. It is there, you are not the exception. What does it mean to discover Gods Will anyway? I decided to find out. I realized that I needed to align to all the little wills inside with the spark of divine will. I decided the best way to do this was to develop a positive use of my will by committing to a daily practice.”

This was the daily practice;

“I commit myself to the will of God

I give my heart and soul to God

I deserve the best in life

I serve the best cause in life”

With the practices of truth, divine will, love and faith we make room for the action of grace to come into our life. Grace is letting go to divine wisdom” Barbara Brennan

The State of Grace needs the recipient in order to be complete. You are held in the hand of God and totally loved and when that love can be received the circuit is complete” – Emmanuel

I remember in 1999 in a meditation  I saw God holding me in his hands, the next day I picked up the book “Hands of Light” and just opened the page and the first thing I read was the quote by Emmanuel. It’s taken a long time to truly receive Gods love and to connect to my own divine will, but today as I pack for an overnight stay at St Julians in Norwich I am reminded of those words as constant synchronicities are leading me towards Grace. …….

 

Chocolate, Cannabis or Enlightenment

Chocolate, Cannabis or Enlightenment?

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I have mixed feelings about cannabis as I’ve heard success stories on how it has healed people but I’ve also encountered people relying on it for cancer treatment and it’s failed. I have lost a couple of friends through relying on this, so it makes me doubtful. I know of seven people who used it and it was successful for two of them. I recently interviewed a lady who said she has never known it to fail, so I tried it for a week. It made me have panic attacks and I felt dopey during the day, I couldn’t wait to get off of it! Then I spoke to a man who is part of a cancer and cannabis group who was angry that people are relying on this drug to heal cancer, he too had lost friends. So I started researching to see why it works for some and not for others, what I found was something really interesting!

In the 80s Professor Raphael Mechoulam received funding to research cannabis and its effects on the brain. In 1992 scientists found that cannabis would activate receptors in the brain, strangely  THC molecules fitted exactly into these receptors, as if they were made for them. So they knew the body must produce a chemical of some kind that fits into these receptors, a molecule that the THC mimics. After years of research they discovered the molecule which they named anandamide.  They found that this molecule was responsible for a feeling of bliss or enlightenment; it activated higher thinking and good feelings. So they named it anandamide after the Sanskrit word ananda which means joyous bliss.

There have been many experiments with test tubes on CBD and THC and they have found it can destroy cancer cells. People are able to heal a multitude of ailments with cannaboids. BUT our own cells must be able to do this without taking the drugs by inducing the state of bliss and enlightenment. Since being diagnosed with cancer I have researched and researched and found juicing and high dose vitamin C is definitely a must but the key thing that boosts that healing is either faith, meditation or prayer. I truly believe it’s that feeling of divine connection that is healing people, which would explain the reason why all the people healing cancer with alternative methods have had “miraculous” recoveries. Science can now explain why this happens with the anandamine molecule alongside other molecules such as oxytocin known as the love molecule and serotonin and endorphins, all of these feel good molecules are activated through either exercise, spiritual bliss, chocolate or cannabis.

Chocolate has the molecule anandamide and serotonin within it and it can produce that feeling of bliss! Raw chocolate is full anandamine which would explain why people crave it! So if you are like me and THC gives you a paranoid, panic attack feeling then it won’t have benefits, if it makes you feel good it will!So meditation and chocolate is a healthier way to activate this molecule and could have even better effects than cannabis. Keeping that feeling of bliss is hard but if you know it’s going to cure you then it definitely worth practicing!

Deane Alban (a health specialist) says…. Marijuana? Maybe Smoking marijuana might seem the logical choice for experiencing more bliss, since THC obviously binds to the same receptors as anandamide. But is smoking pot to relieve anxiety, increase happiness, or improve memory loss the right move for everyone? Probably not. When anandamide binds to the cannabinoid receptor, it has a calming, anti-anxiety effect in most people, but about 30 percent of the population responds differently. There’s a naturally occurring enzyme called FAAH that deactivates anandamide. Some people have a genetic tendency to have less FAAH, which means their brains naturally have more anandamide. These people tend to be less anxious in general and, interestingly, less inclined to like marijuana. According to Dr. Richard A. Friedman, professor of clinical psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, those with the variant FAAH gene experience a decrease in happiness when they smoke marijuana. His take is that when you naturally have more anandamide, you have less use for marijuana. Dr. Friedman, an expert in the neurobiology and treatment of mood and anxiety disorders, has also found that marijuana can be counterproductive for those with anxiety. “Psychotropic medications, therapy and relaxation techniques don’t help everyone, so what’s wrong with using marijuana to treat anxiety? The problem is that cannabis swamps and overpowers the brain’s cannabinoid system, and there is evidence that chronic use may not just relieve anxiety but interfere with learning and memory,” he states in a New York Times article. Anandamide is a relatively recent discovery and there is still much to learn about how it affects the brain and mood in both healthy people and those with mental or brain disorders. But there is certainly no downside to exercising, spending time in “the zone,” and eating a little chocolate.

Deane Alban writes about anandamide being produced naturally when exercising and when you’re in the zone, which means living in the now, like when you play sports or go for a walk in nature, it’s that sense of wellbeing that initiates the ananadamide molecule.

Happiness really does heal no matter what method you choose ❤

 

 

Hope

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Hope is the white feather that falls in front of your eyes

Hope is the truth amongst a thousand lies

Hope is the sun peeping out from the clouds

Hope is the one who stands out from the crowds

Hope is the sunlight on a rainy day

Hope are the words of love when theres nothing more to say

Hope is the dream that enlightens the depression

Hope is the broken heart that still loves without question

Hope is standing up when you were told you would fall

Hope is the survivor who has been through it all

Hope is the broken wing that can now fly high

Hope is knowing that this isn’t the last goodbye

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