Hope for cancer

I take a deep breath before I get out of bed and start my day every morning.  I change my dressing the tumour is getting worse; I watch the blood drop from my breast, clean it and put my dressing on. Then I juice! I’m trying everything I can to beat this. Every day I try and heal, I eat healthy and keep positive; I’ve discovered a way to eliminate the fear and to keep looking forward to a positive future.

Whilst every effort of my being is working on keeping positive, every day I’m reminded of the harsh reality of cancer. I have made friends all over the world over these last two years and some of them I became very close to, a lot of them have passed away. One minute I am chatting with them and everything is fine and then a few weeks later I see a post on Facebook from a family member and my heart sinks and aches as I say goodbye to another friend.

No one can prepare you for this journey especially when you are told you are stage 4 and you can’t be cured. But one great lesson I have learnt through this is that miracles really do happen. I’ve lost friends and I’ve watched young women go through traumatic times but I’ve also seen people celebrate. I have seen people who were told they had 3 or 4 years to live totally recover! I have seen people who have cured themselves without medication. I have seen people change and transform their lives and come out of the other end perfectly healthy and living a brand new life. These people give me hope. Hope is the most powerful emotion on earth next to love.

Hope keeps us going, it keeps us moving forward and it stops us from giving up. So as I sit convalescing on today’s visit to the hospital and the news of radiotherapy starting in the New Year. I take a deep breath and let hope shine out from my heart and say out loud “I can do this”


The Grace of God (part one)

The Grace of God (a healers perception)



The Grace of God is recognising that God is within us all and we are truly loved. I would say that this has been one of the greatest lessons in my life and it takes a long time to truly feel Gods love within you and around you.

Or I could say; The universe is within us and all around us and it holds the energy of love, not only within us but as a higher consciousness, that higher consciousness is part of us and part of everything.

Barbara Brennan author of hands of light and former scientist for NASA has spent 40 or more years researching the human energy-field and life force energy and teaching advanced healing methods. Along her healing journey she committed herself to truth and to be her true self and not fit in to other people’s expectations. She writes in chapter 27 of “Hands of Light” that the more she was aware of being true to herself the more she was aware of her ego will.  She writes this;

I found many levels of myself “wanting” all of us have this. This ego will and wanting comes from the defended self and the will of the inner child or the young teenager. These wills are rather demanding. The ego will needs to grow up. Deep inside of us there exists a spark of Divine will, God’s will. I have found that a spark of divine will exists within every human being. It is essential that you allow yourself time to search for it inside yourself until you find it. It is there, you are not the exception. What does it mean to discover Gods Will anyway? I decided to find out. I realized that I needed to align to all the little wills inside with the spark of divine will. I decided the best way to do this was to develop a positive use of my will by committing to a daily practice.”

This was the daily practice;

“I commit myself to the will of God

I give my heart and soul to God

I deserve the best in life

I serve the best cause in life”

With the practices of truth, divine will, love and faith we make room for the action of grace to come into our life. Grace is letting go to divine wisdom” Barbara Brennan

The State of Grace needs the recipient in order to be complete. You are held in the hand of God and totally loved and when that love can be received the circuit is complete” – Emmanuel

I remember in 1999 in a meditation  I saw God holding me in his hands, the next day I picked up the book “Hands of Light” and just opened the page and the first thing I read was the quote by Emmanuel. It’s taken a long time to truly receive Gods love and to connect to my own divine will, but today as I pack for an overnight stay at St Julians in Norwich I am reminded of those words as constant synchronicities are leading me towards Grace. …….