Transformation

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I started the oxygen tank on Thursday! As I sat in the hyperbaric chamber with an oxygen mask on, I tried to steady myself into the alien surroundings. Who would have thought that this time last year I would be sitting in a hyperbaric chamber breathing in oxygen in Chedgrave with stage 4 cancer! This time last year I was trying to get my social enterprise off the ground and set up a hypnotherapy practice in London whilst working part time in a pub.  How life changes hey!? You live day by day then a whirlwind comes along, turns your world upside down and changes your life forever. So here I am sitting with 5 other people, we are all there to heal. Some of them are sitting in wheelchairs, the ages vary, we are all suffering but determined! We breathe in the oxygen and hope for healing. Hyperbaric chambers increase your oxygen levels so healing and recovery from injury becomes quicker, broken bones heal quicker and increased oxygen levels boost the immune system. This treatment has been shown to be effective for MS and cancer sufferers. I am trying everything I can to heal.

Cancer is a scary word! It’s even scarier living with it daily, but in amongst the chaos and fear and standing in the eye of the storm things are starting to look and feel different. Finally health, harmony and balance seem obtainable. Through this year of intense healing, changing my diet and lifestyle and incorporating lots of meditation, EFT, Reiki, Energy healing and breath work I am actually finding me! Yes it’s a cliché! People mimic people “finding themselves” but it’s actually the most profound, amazing experience. The most powerful thing for me was totally releasing the shackles of ego wants and social acceptance. I let go of the core wound of feeling lost and alone and instead I embraced and experienced beautiful qualities in life such as love and nature. All my focus goes on these qualities as well as health and wellness. I’m liking this new life and this new me, that isn’t new at all it’s just a me that is letting go of old attachments, old emotions and old wounds that just don’t serve me anymore. Now the centre of my attention is to love and honour every part of me.  I have the miracle of life inside of me and life is powerful and can survive the greatest of storms.

Today I am a different person from that woman who was lost and trying to find a place and a purpose. Today I’m starting to relax into my own skin and I’m healing emotional wounds that have been within my body and mind for many decades. Daily dedication to my health and wellbeing is changing me. I love and nurture my body in any way I can, and an inner peace is growing stronger inside of me. The negative voices of self hatred are collapsing and they are being replaced with a soft gentle voice of “its ok” I want to watch films all day and  its ok, I want to walk along the beach and meditate all day and its ok, I want to work 9-5 on writing my book and its ok. Self judgements are less powerful and love is overtaking my negativity. These great lessons in transformation have come from friends, since being diagnosed with cancer I have experienced huge love and support. I never thought it was possible to receive so much love from so many people. People need to know that feeling that love and support has given me hope and changed my life forever! Peoples love is the very thing that is transforming me and healing me. Now I’ve experienced love in this way life looks and feels totally different, life has become magical and wonderful and I can see miracles happening. Thank you to all those who have said prayers, sent healing, helped with treatments and given me a hug or words of support when I needed them. I am truly thankful for your unconditional kindness.

It’s a new concept to me, feeling loved and also loving myself and my body for the first time! I am putting my health and body first daily. I breathe a healing breath and send love to all my organs and cells. I am healing my mind with positive affirmations which are working! It takes perseverance and persistence but now instead of going to sleep full of fear with the feeling of a big black cloud over me. I am now meditating last thing at night and first thing in the morning.  I now feel happy and positive most of the time and I’m actually feeling healthier than I have for a long time and I feel more centred, calm and positive. All is not perfect, but I’ve found a way to cope, heal and transform.

A week after I started writing this I got some good news from my oncologist. My tumour has halved in size and all my tumours in my armpit have now gone. This is down to medical treatment, 2 healings a week, lots of loving energy and most of all a change in lifestyle and attitude.  I am going to carry on loving and nurturing my body and putting my physical body first with plenty of sleep, rest, exercise and fresh air. I will be sending love to every part of my body, accepting the flaws and seeing them as beautiful. You know we are all beautiful and miraculous and every part of us has a consciousness and a purpose, the physiology of human body is full of miracles and so is every form of life.

When something like cancer hits your life full force it extenuates the importance of time, people and experiences. Life is short, I intend to fill mine with beautiful walks, travel, loving my friends and family and experiencing joy and doing things that make me happy! When you are faced with a situation where you don’t know if you are going to live or die you suddenly awaken to the true beauty of life and marvel in its phenomenal splendour and magic. Walking in nature has become top of my priority list because it cleanses the mind and awakens the soul.

Breathe, take in your surroundings and live in the now. Time is precious so make every moment count. But most of all appreciate what you have and look around to see the beauty within life. Your life can change in the blink of an eye.

 

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